Deck-chairs on the Titanic?

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Sort it out guys.

This is pretty embarrassing, isn’t it? Here we have everyone and their dog slugging it out over what words to say at Catholic masses. On the right is a sample of the changes, purportedly as a result of new translations of the bible, mainly relating to how the masses respond to the priest.

Looking at these samples, it’s almost incomprehensible how trivial the proposed changes are. In particular, the ‘Penitential Act’ one is annoying: it basically forces some more groveling by the poor bugger laying their soul bare. Not content to hear someone admit to something being their own fault, it now has to be their own ‘grievous’ fault.

So someone in the Vatican actually sits around dreaming up these changes. I can see the meeting now: “How do we get our flock to be more pathetic and obsequious than they already are? I know, let’s make them say some more really pathetic and obsequious stuff.”

Did you read the Gloria ‘improvements’?  The vacuum created by all the sucking up in that one sentence should be enough to enable you to reach escape velocity and get to heaven before you know it.

The last one, the ‘Nicene creed’, seems like just showing off to me. The same person in the Vatican has come up with the idea of making the whole thing more intellectual. How these changes add anything to the experience is bewildering. While the legal industry is moving away from jargon towards ‘clear speak’, it seems Catholicism is going the other way. ‘Consubstantial’. Really?

Whatever the reasons for the changes, if agreement cannot be reached, I suggest that they consult their iPhone app as the authoritative reference –  after all, there’s no higher authority and Steve Jobs at Apple, is there?

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