Mmmm, oxygen

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Yes, I can just picture Homer Simpson salivating over flavoured oxygen. Fresh on the heels of my rant on detox, here we have another purported cure for the ‘symptoms of life’ – oxygen bars, in which we have the privilege of paying $1 per minute to suck in some flavoured O2. Well, it is Spring I suppose, which we now all know is the best time to detox.

Is there no end to the crappola being foisted upon us from people trying to make a fast buck? At least this article is better researched than the detox nonsense, and actually presents some information from people who, well, knowsomething about the subject, and are not in it for the money. As we might have guessed, the purveyors of this modern miracle claim that:

“oxygen can increase energy, ease hangover headaches and stress, and help combat jet lag”

At least they didn’t claim it would remove toxins. Several experts were consulted:

  • exercise science specialist Associate Professor Aaron Coutts, of the University of Technology, Sydney,
  • Australian Lung Foundation’s respiratory expert Professor Christine McDonald of Austin Hospital in Melbourne
  • The Therapeutic Goods Administration

and they all agreed that there would be either no benefit, or indeed there could be some damage under certain conditions. To counter this, one of the proponents of the therapy is:

“confident of the oxygen bar’s therapeutic benefits, saying that it helped to reduce symptoms of migraine, cold and flu. The main thing is that it really calms a person; it relaxes them. If [people] are really stressed out or they’ve got migraines, 20 minutes on their oxygen machine brings their heart rates down. It’s not just a quick hit.”

Well, as long as this person who is trying to sell me air is ‘confident’, then that’s all the reassurance I need, right? Needless to say, those experts must be shills for ‘big pharma’, who don’t want us to cure our ailments with something as cheap as air – they want us to buy their expensive drugs. I’m onto them, don’t worry. Actually I think I’m more cranky about people who mindlessly buy into this stuff than those trying to make money out of it. At least the latter have some semblance of rationality in their actions.

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