Fresh from my triumph over telekinesis, I’ve now decided to go into selling my own brand of miracle cure, which I’m calling Nomore Oil.
Why? Because I have a personal story about how great it works.
Turn the clock back a couple of years and all is well, except for a slight pain in the shoulder, which I put down to golf. It didn’t really worry me while playing, but I had restricted range for anything above my head or behind me – so reaching for things was exceedingly painful.
It worsened, so I stopped hitting golf balls for six weeks; it got a bit better, but didn’t go away. At about that time, I wrote some articles about Elmore Oil, and after doing the research, decided not to bother trying it, despite having the perfect ailment to test it.
In the meantime, I visited my local doctor, who is also a sports medicine expert, who then pointed me at physiotherapy. I didmy physio, but after a lack of progress, the physio suggested a thing called hydro-dilatation, which is a nasty injection of 40-50 ml of fluid, containing cortisone, into the shoulder joint, guided by ultrasound. Very unpleasant.
What follows is 3 months of gradual improvement, to about 30% function and range, but that’s it. Bet you thought I would be reporting that this medical intervention would completely cure it, right?
Well it didn’t, and a few months later I went to an orthopedic specialist to explore options for surgery. I figured that I might as well fix it sooner rather than later. He tells me all about it, and it doesn’t sound appealing, and the recovery time is in months. He also adds that, well, sometimes these things just fix themselves – a notion of which I was a bit skeptical. So I decided to think about it over the next few months.
Guess what. It has resolved itself. Yep, one day I noticed that I could reach do some things without pain, so began pushing the boundaries to see how good it is. I can now say I have full function and no pain. Yay me.
The moral of this story? The body is complicated thing, and many of our ailments come and go in natural cycles. Aches and pains come and go, and a lot of them are resolved just by the body’s cool design.
And this is the very reason alternative therapies even get a look in. We have a pain, we apply worthless oil, the pain goes away, we jump to the simplistic conclusion that the oil did it, and rob our clever body of the kudos. That sucks. Had I been a proponent of therapeutic touch, homeopathy, Scenar, applied kinesiology or any one of a gazillion quack cures (including musculo-kinesis, which I’ve just invented), I would naturally have been claiming that it was that therapy that did the trick.
Before you jump all over me for being inconsistent, I’m not saying my anecdote proves anything; it’s just an illustration that the body can and does cure itself of many issues, particularly those ‘symptoms of life’. Note that this doesn’t also mean that the body cures everything, which is going to the other extreme. It’s just for a certain range of issues, it does a pretty good job of healing itself.
Yes, I applied good ol’ Nomore Oil to my shoulder and it did the trick. Good as new. Buy a bottle now, only $0.00. Contents: Nothing, Directions for use: Don’t apply 3 times a day. Available everywhere. Really. It will do as good a job as Elmore Oil, or your money back.