Nomore Oil – Miracle Cure?

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Fresh from my triumph over telekinesis, I’ve now decided to go into selling my own brand of miracle cure, which I’m calling Nomore Oil.

Why? Because I have a personal story about how great it works.

Turn the clock back a couple of years and all is well, except for a slight pain in the shoulder, which I put down to golf. It didn’t really worry me while playing, but I had restricted range for anything above my head or behind me – so reaching for things was exceedingly painful.

It worsened,  so I stopped hitting golf balls for six weeks; it got a bit better, but didn’t go away. At about that time, I wrote some articles about Elmore Oil, and after doing the research, decided not to bother trying it, despite having the perfect ailment to test it.

In the meantime, I visited my local doctor, who is also a sports medicine expert, who then pointed me at physiotherapy. I didmy physio, but after a lack of progress, the physio suggested a thing called hydro-dilatation, which is a nasty injection of 40-50 ml of fluid, containing cortisone, into the shoulder joint, guided by ultrasound. Very unpleasant.

What follows is 3 months of gradual improvement, to about 30% function and range, but that’s it. Bet you thought I would be reporting that this medical intervention would completely cure it, right?

Well it didn’t, and a few months later I went to an orthopedic specialist to explore options for surgery. I figured that I might as well fix it sooner rather than later. He tells me all about it, and it doesn’t sound appealing, and the recovery time is in months. He also adds that, well, sometimes these things just fix themselves – a notion of which I was a bit skeptical. So I decided to think about it over the next few months.

Guess what. It has resolved itself. Yep, one day I noticed that I could reach do some things without pain, so began pushing the boundaries to see how good it is.  I can now say I have full function and no pain. Yay me.

The moral of this story? The body is complicated thing, and many of our ailments come and go in natural cycles. Aches and pains come and go, and a lot of them are resolved just by the body’s cool design.

And this is the very reason alternative therapies even get a look in. We have a pain, we apply worthless oil, the pain goes away, we jump to the simplistic conclusion that the oil did it, and rob our clever body of the kudos. That sucks. Had I been a proponent of therapeutic touch, homeopathy, Scenar, applied kinesiology or any one of a gazillion quack cures (including musculo-kinesis, which I’ve just invented), I would naturally have been claiming that it was that therapy that did the trick.

Before you jump all over me for being inconsistent, I’m not saying my anecdote proves anything; it’s just an illustration that the body can and does cure itself of many issues, particularly those ‘symptoms of life’. Note that this doesn’t also mean that the body cures everything, which is going to the other extreme. It’s just for a certain range of issues, it does a pretty good job of healing itself.

Yes, I applied good ol’ Nomore Oil to my shoulder and it did the trick. Good as new. Buy a bottle now, only $0.00. Contents: Nothing, Directions for use: Don’t apply 3 times a day. Available everywhere. Really. It will do as good a job as Elmore Oil, or your money back.


4 thoughts on “Nomore Oil – Miracle Cure?

    Dan Rea said:
    June 22, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    A post that is a half-question, and half-venting:

    Argh… Just had a near argument (again) with my lovable old man about this topic yet again. I don’t start conversations with the intention of pissing him off. I can’t picture him getting angry and emotional about Panadol or Meloxicam, but with elmore’s oil he’s a firm believer, and the slightest criticism of it gets interpreted as as insult. I only mean to insult the logic, not the practitioner. He’s not even an irrational man for the most part. He despises religious thinking and tarrot-card crap, but on this issue his personal anecdote trumps all logic and reason. I really don’t understand; like I said, I don’t mean to piss him off, but when someone says the atmosphere of Earth is comprised of methane I feel compelled to supply the contradictory scientific evidence.

    Like rationalbrain and his friend with an autistic son… maybe we expect too much? Maybe being ‘right’ in this case is not worth the conflict. Why why why does one get emotional when defending a commercial product? or a pseudo-medical product with no evidence to support it? I can’t penetrate the mindset… I can’t see things from these kind of perspectives. Internally I snort in derision and chuckle at the ignorance of these mentalities, but I can’t relate to them and I really want to- I think on some level I feel I could bring people to the world of reason if only I could relate to their nonsense… Am I the only one who feels this way?

    Bah… one more beer should fix this. It’s just nice to know I’m not the only sane person in the world.

    Alan Stewart said:
    July 8, 2013 at 8:30 am

    Had the same shoulder problem and tried Nomore Oil with 100% positive result over a period of about 5 years.
    I have also tried it for my arthritic fingers with no success to date – can anyone recommend a product to give me some relief even if to just be able to hold a golf club correctly.

      rationalbrain responded:
      July 8, 2013 at 8:38 am

      Glad to hear Nomore Oil worked for you. Excellent.
      Re the arthritis – have you tried contacting Arthritis Australia? They say while it is not curable, it can be managed – I’d see what they have to say.

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