Posted on

EMF is not one of those abbreviations you commonly see in text messages, so don’t worry if you couldn’t decipher the title of this post.

It means Electromagnetic Fields, and it’s a thing.

But it’s another of those things that con artists have appropriated to separate you from your money. Yep, anything vaguely sciencey or technical is certain to baffle the rubes and have them reaching for their wallet (see one of my earlier sprays on this subject here).

The whole EMF protection industry (and there seems to be quite a decent sized one out there) plays on the fact that yes, there are EM fields out there – otherwise, no TV, radio, phones, air traffic control, TV remotes, wi-fi, bluetooth, microwave ovens, etc etc, but that they are nasty and can harm you, and therefore you need to be protected from our cruel modern world.

Before we get into the fun of looking at a couple of these hilarious sites, a couple of simple statements on EM fields.

  • EM radiation can hurt you if the field intensity is high enough – for example, I wouldn’t put the cat in the microwave oven. Or stand too close to a high power phone cell antenna dish (that is, on the actual dish, not the mast).
  • Nothing in our daily environment has been shown to be harmful in any way. The biggest controversy has been mobile phones, but even huge studies on their effects have been inconclusive. And by ‘inconclusive’ I don’t mean ‘well, there may or may not be a problem’, like it’s 50:50; rather, there is no significant evidence of ANY harm. There is also the issue of living close to power lines, and all the media that’s had, but again, no evidence for any physiological effect, although there are certainly some psychogenic illnesses associated with them.
  • Perhaps the dominant EM issue for us is UV radiation from the sun, and we already have protection from that – ozone layers, creams, and just staying indoors.

Conspiracy theorists and nutters, start your search engines! I expect a tonne of comments telling me how blinded I am by the establishment and ‘Big Tech’, and the New World Order, which used EM fields to control the population, yada yada yada. Go for it. But you know what I’m going to say, right? Show me the evidence for your claims. Closely followed by “no, not a study from the Online University of Hicksville USA, but one from a reputable source”. You know the drill by now.

Now that you know the basics, let’s have some fun – let’s start with the nicely titled EMF Blues. This site is basically a vehicle for mom and pop McKusick to sell some ceramic doo-dads which mom has cooked up in her ceramics class. In fact they would make nice buttons or ear-rings if you’re a bit a of a hippy.

But instead, their buttons are actually ”Crystal Catalyst Resonators”. OOohh. I swoon at the technical talk. Go on, say it to me again. Crystal Catalyst Resonators. Back in a minute….

Ok, I’m back now. Yes, apparently, these devices:

..harmonize electromagnetic frequencies so they are no longer harmful to your body. This makes them powerful EMF Protection Devices AND Life Energy Enhancers. …The technology has a unique composition and structure which allows it to absorb and then rebroadcast harmful electromagnetic radiations in a cleaner form. These cleaner frequencies are beneficial to the body. Tests shows that Crystal Catalyst® Resonators increase the body’s strength and enhance whole brainwave functioning.

So, more for your money then. But surely they play havoc with mobile phone reception? They didn’t say, but I emailed them, and their response was:

The Cell Phone Tab will not interfere with cell phone reception. The Tab does not block or shield the frequencies but rather harmonizes them, therefore, the frequencies are still present and intact, and reception is not altered.

They pointed me to the relevant page, where I found I could buy the Cell Phone Tab for only $16.50. Just stick it to the back of my phone, and all will be well.

But how do they know they work? More on this later. But front and centre they have a wonderful testimonial from William in Quebec (I know, impressive, right?), who says:

I had my Crystal Catalyst® Bead muscle tested by my naturopath and he was impressed by how well it worked for so little cost. I am now buying Cell Phone Tabs and the Star 3 Hole. I now feel confident in buying more and recommending them to others.

With that sort of support, why wouldn’t you be convinced? If a naturopath is impressed, it must be the real deal. But Robyn from Kentucky really seals the deal:

Do you ever tell what these blue disks are composed of? Don’t know how, but they really do stop the icky vibes from coming out of the computer. I don’t feel them anymore. Thank you!

Icky vibes from the computer? I only get those when I read Andrew Bolt online.

The site admits that science doesn’t know how it works, but goes for the ‘argument from antiquity’ with this quote:

Egyptian Faience refers to a silicon based ceramic glaze which was produced in Egypt from 3500 B.C. until the first century A.D. The Ancient Egyptians believed Faience to be a magical substance that contained the powers of rebirth. Scarabs and talismans were thought to derive their powers from this quartz based Faience glaze.

Crystal Catalyst® Technology shares many properties of Faience. It too is a silicone based ceramic and is fired in a similar energy field as was used to produce Faience in Ancient Egypt.

Well, it’s old, it must work. But wait there’s more…you can also charge water with the device! Bullshit you say. No, really. Here’s the proof:

Charged Water is water that has been given a new structure and has more healing abilities because of it. Water can be charged by placing a Crystal Catalyst® Bead in or touching the outside of a pitcher of water. This water tastes sweeter and is more easily absorbed by the body. Plants watered with Crystal Catalyst® Water grow green and lush.

But how was this wonderful technology developed? What great lab took this from wish to reality? None other that the team at Biomagnetics Research Inc, established in  1983. Here’s the team. I’m sure there’s a PhD in there somewhere. Actually there isn’t. Ma and pa’s main qualifications are in dowsing – you know, using a stick to find things in the ground. That’s ma and pa on the right, with Billy-bob and Betty-Lou on the left.


Perhaps surprisingly, I found a ‘Testings’ page on their site – so kudos for recognising the need for it, even though it’s grammatically unsound. But what do we find? Apparently EMF meters (which are also a thing) can’t test their product! Have we heard that before? You know, the ‘your modern science can’t deal with this mystical phenomenon’ gambit. No, apparently the only way to test that their product works is with Applied Kinesiology, Kirlian Photography and Whole Brainwave Functioning.

And damn, if they didn’t actually provide proof! There’s an actual picture of ma lifting a bottle of water before and after activating the patented technology! Wow, you have to see this to believe it! But now I’m being facetious. They’ve actually also done independent testing, oh yes. Here it is:

A leading International Canadian Testing Laboratory for Clean Energy has confirmed that the resonators “are not electrical, magnetic, or radioactive, and they can not harm electrical appliances, or computer hardware or software”

Well, ok, I could have told you that and I’m not a Canadian Testing Laboratory. Any comment on whether they work??? How about this:

Doctors at the University of California at Santa Cruz used Kiniseology (muscle testing) to measure the strength of subjects before exposure to electromagnetic radiations. Subjects were then measured in an electromagnetic field using Crystal Catalyst Resonators and showed to be stronger than they were prior to the exposure.

So now we’re using a fraudulent therapy, to test a fraudulent product? Nice One. See my article on Applied Kinesiology here. Pure theatre and totally bogus. Same goes for Kirlian Photography – which is completely fake – here’s a nice discussion of it here. What else?

Farmers in Wisconsin had Dairy cows in Wisconsin were under stress from power line radiation. After placing Crystal Catalyst® Beads on their collars the cows produced more milk with increased butter fat and less bacteria.

And the cows looked cute too, with their beads and all. Actually I’m surprised those farmers had time to do this testing, what with all the aliens doing anal probing in the part of the country. Maybe the aliens relaxed the cows – that would be a far more plausible explanation.

As for the brain testing, they contend that:

Being electrical, the brain is severely affected by electronic pollution. That’s why you feel so “brain-dead” after spending hours on your computer or talking on your cell phone.

No, you feel brain-dead because you’re tired. They follow this up with some hokey charts which anyone could have knocked up. Of course, this data has been published somewhere right? And peer reviewed? Because if they’ve actually built one of these things it would turn science and physics on its head. It means we could travel to Mars without worrying about those pesky cosmic rays! No more sunburn! And if string theory is correct, these devices could be used to block gravity too! Must get me one.

And finally, visit the Testimonials page, for a real laugh, all written in the same style – here’s the first one:

Your Frequency Harmonizer Pendant makes my child less jumpy and the Crystal Catalyst Bead makes him sing all day. Thank you very much for such nice products…I’d like to buy more in the future.

Really? You want your kid to be singing all day? And why would you need to buy more? Do they wear out?

Anyway, enough fun – and they’re are not the only site – the internet is littered with them –  try this one for example, which is a shambles of a site. Some of the fun facts on this site include:

Microwave ovens heat the food by radiation, which “deranges” the
 of food and water so our bodies have trouble recognizing
and using them.

The hip area produces 80% of the body’s red blood cells.  This
function is especially vulnerable to EMF damage.

You shouldn’t use your cell phone in a car because the metal car
frame amplifies electromagnetic radiation and affects all passengers,
even those not using the cell phone.

A cell phone’s impulses can disable the brain’s barrier that shields
the brain from poisons in the blood.  And it happens after only 2 minutes
of cell phone use.

You get the idea. Gloom and doom, therefore, buy our pendant.

Same old scam. Same old pitch.

Please don’t fall for it – just have a laugh and enjoy the kooky con artists of the 21st century.


13 thoughts on “EMF – OMFG!

    Dan Rea said:
    November 14, 2013 at 10:42 am

    Pff what a con. My tin foil hat only cost two cents.

      rationalbrain responded:
      November 14, 2013 at 10:45 am

      Yep, and if you add a few straws to it, it also protects you from swooping maggies. Double the protection.

    EMF Devices – How to really build them | rationalbrain said:
    November 15, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    […] spend time on this, let’s at last talk EMF Crystals! If you haven’t read the piece on EMF crystals already, it would be useful to do so […]

    Huey said:
    March 6, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    I have bought their emf protection devices like their pendants and tabs sticking on electronic devices and personally it works for me. I am the person who is really sensitive to emfs and radiation from cellphones and computers. Some people like me who are sensitive to emfs that they need help or solutions to their problems. At least they offer money back guaranteed if you’re not satisfied. In my opinion, this works for me. I see many emf protection devices or pendants cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. But emfblues said they make emf protection products that works and affordable.

    Anna said:
    December 30, 2015 at 8:28 am

    I had a huge problem in my home. I fell ill after one month. After a few tests, i was told i had a lot of radiation. My doctor reminded me of how i moved to a new home. My breathing was bad. I was very itchy. I had brain fog. I am a very organized person. I was missing deadlines. I also felt i couldn’t breath in my home. I kept opening windows. After a lot of searching, i hired a very well respected dowser and energy shifter. I knew an emf consultantant wouldnt be good enough. He found that my home was sitting on a very huge benker grid. He was able to re-direct water energy, get rd of water veins that cause radiation or emf. The grid gave off the earths natural radiation. He had to place copper tube in certain places. They were filled with different things. believe what u like. The problem with emf meters (I own one) is that they cant detect emfs beyond the subatomic level. It only can tell u physical side. Its important to clear from energetic level. A few days after this was done, my health returned to normal. I did come across emfblues. I bought a few things. Dont judge energy shifters. It works.

      rationalbrain responded:
      December 30, 2015 at 9:18 am

      I’m afraid most of what you’ve said is incomprehensible. For example, ’emfs beyond the subatomic level’ – I know my physics, and this is completely meaningless – it’s what I call techno-babble.
      You should stop paying people to feed you techno-babble – I’ll do it for free, just ask!
      I guarantee you’ll still feel better.

    Kathleen Condit said:
    March 22, 2016 at 11:34 am

    See McKusick Tiles, which was a 47 year old business in regards to ceramic education.

      rationalbrain responded:
      March 22, 2016 at 4:14 pm

      And the relevance of this information to this thread is what?

    Benson Putraj said:
    November 16, 2017 at 1:08 pm

    Well written. This is almost like faith healing. It mostly works for those who believe. As long as it doesn’t have side effects I think people will continue to believe in these things and put their hard earned money into it. Such people are dumb, and they love magic better than logic!

    May said:
    December 23, 2017 at 5:08 am

    You sound like the type of BLOW HARD who would try to tell me that i don’t have an EMF sensitivity!!!! Even though some conventional doctors ADMIT that there is such a thing! I listen to all your spewing and it makes me BELIEVE in the stuff even more! You have NO EXPERIENCE with it, just shooting your pie hole off and everybody is just suppose to take your word on it because you know everything and those who believe in it are just DUMB! You really shouldn’t show your IGNORANCE so loud! 😦

      rationalbrain responded:
      December 23, 2017 at 8:09 am

      Thankyou for your abusive comment.
      Actually I am ignorant about the subject, and here’s your chance to educate me, instead of spew your bile.
      Tell me who these doctors are, and why the just ‘admit’ it, rather than measure it and make a name for themselves.
      Show me the literature which has measured the effects. Should be easy to measure right? We have instruments that measure all sorts of EM. And if it has an effect on you, it should be easily observable, right?
      So why hasn’t it been documented?
      Sensitivity to light has (OK, I grant you light is EM!). Sensitivity to sound has. Allergies to all sorts of stuff have.
      So why not EMF?
      I await your evidence with eagerness. But please, it needs to be evidence of decent testing, not testimonials.
      But somehow I don’t think I’ll be receiving anything interesting (if anything) from you.
      Even if you do have ‘EMF Sensitivity’, do you really believe that crystal worn on the body could do anything about it?
      Don’t be so gullible, save your money and buy more tinfoil for your hat.

    Pamela said:
    March 31, 2018 at 2:33 pm

    Is there anything out there to protect you from WIFI or 5G???? I think people such as myself that don’t know a lot about EMF’s basically get freaked out hearing that these frequencies can actually change your DNA and cause all kinds of havoc on your cells and your children’s cells, etc. People such as myself just want to be pro active and try to find a solution! Do you have one or do we just grin and bear it….The chemtrails, water, air, wars, government, food, list goes on….looking for answers 😩

      rationalbrain responded:
      March 31, 2018 at 4:43 pm

      Well the cranks who want to sell you stuff have done a very good job.
      There is no evidence that wifi or 5g or virtually any environmental emf is harmful to humans, despite decades of testing.
      ‘Frequencies’ can’t change your DNA, so please don’t worry.
      You seem to be afflicted by all the conspiracy theories – for example, no chemtrails either.
      Please read fewer internet sites by the fear-mongers, and more medical sites, like Cochrane Reviews, which test all the theories you raise.
      Just to summarise – unless you stand in front of a radar dish or right next to the cell tower antenna (like inches away) there is no harm. No harm from phones. No harm from any EMF. No harm from GMO. No harm from chemtrails. No harm from gluten. If you can find real evidence to the contrary, please let us know.
      And as always, ‘real evidence’ is not a link to a russian website or similar – it is a reference to properly conducted trials.
      My advice is: relax and enjoy life, instead of jumping at shadows.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s